On the Road One Last Time

My father and I have always maintained an odd tradition of making random escapes on the road. By pulling out any excuse that could be thought of, we make our way down the Atlantic coast. This time the excuse was simple: have one last hoorah together before I depart for the next 6 months.

There really isn't anything like riding along country roads of the continental United States. Windows down and music blaring through the speakers, I can smell the freedom our forefathers fought to establish. As I look to the man to my left with his hands on the wheel, 21 years of life flash before my eyes. A tradition that seemed so effortless in past years, radiated in symbolism this time around.

It seemed right to spend my last few days on home soil doing something extremely familiar to my upbringing. Leaving the tri-state on our way to the Carolinas, I felt all memories of my youth come back to me. The bittersweet feeling of joy and fear kept churning in my stomach, battling over dominance of my conscious state.

I am grateful to have spent so many years with a man whose shown me the true meaning of happiness by living in the moment where time and gravity meet. Best known as the "now" that everybody talks up but never really takes advantage of. A part of me feels sad knowing that this specific moment in time will come to an abrupt halt. But when I think of my father, that mindset is a disrespect to the life lessons he has bestowed upon me.

The trick to not falling down the bitter rabbit hole of fear is reminding myself that my moment abroad is only temporary. It will go just as fast as it came, so I cannot interpret my situation as leaving anything behind. I have to embrace the fact that I am doing this alone as a way of strengthening my relationships with friends and family back home. This is my chance to grow into myself and establish my individuality after college.

Instead of being sad, I am excited to see how my friends shape their own lives while I am gone. I look forward to sharing my own self discovery with them when I return. I may lose touch with some after these months which only means they were never meant to stay in my life beyond this point. I am alright with that because my relationships with those I reconnect with will grow stronger than they ever were.

My mind will be at peace knowing that I spent my last days in America with the man who raised me. I have said goodbye to old friends and new ones and am at peace with how things were left off. The remainder of my stay belongs to those who raised me. Only 3 days left until this dream turns into a reality.

The next step is to begin packing…

Travel for Two

I dedicate this post to the lost but beautiful soul of Jake Taylor Nawn.

This symbol signifies more than just you. It resembles the bond you have created between all of those who loved you. I have never met anybody who could bring people together the way you did. Faces from all different social groups found a commonality in you. I've met those who remain my closest friends today because of your ability to read my persona and connect it with others whom you loved. Now, each of those faces share a bond through the symbolism of the crows foot.

You are constantly the first thought on my mind when I emerge from slumber. At first, I feel traumatized from the memories of November 12th. It terrifies me to think all this time has passed because I absolutely refuse to let your light fade. But now when I wake up in panic I can finally feel relief that you are still with me. I can no longer see you physically but with this tattoo I can feel your presence.

I can't even handle the constant back-and-forth of the bliss of knowing you to the pain of losing you. But then again you were always a sucker for irony :p Thanks for convincing me to stay in Plymouth and being the best guy friend a girl could ask for. Our relationship was the absolute realest and I'll be lucky to find anything like that in my life again.

My travels will now become yours Jake. I can’t wait to take you with me all over the world and squish our toes between the soil of many continents. After all this time I am finally ready to share your story with those I meet on my journey. Get ready for one hell of a ride Jakey because you of all people understand how I get when motivation kicks in hahaha.

You will be there with me every step of the way. Love you forever <3

The Final Countdown

Time passes so fast I hardly even notice it’s real anymore. One moment my journey abroad seems to be a lifetime away from me and the next, I'm about to board the flight. I have officially reached that overly dramatized final countdown. The same one NASA uses for routined mutual understanding before sending astronauts beyond the horizon. The intensity of each number making its way down is identical to the butterflies in my stomach that I know will burst the moment marked "one."

I guess the hardest part of dealing with this feeling is that I know everything to expect. In 10 days my scenery will alter, new friends will be made, and my adventure will begin. As the butterflies try to fight their way up  my esophagus, my conscious reminds me that change is coming, but I cannot know for sure how it will play out. Everything is planned down to my flights, job, and housing. I've convinced myself that I know exactly what to anticipate, yet there is still no technical reality to claim that my trip will turn out a certain way.

Each day I run through all of the possible things I should bring with me abroad. It feels as though I have thought of every little item I would need. No matter how much I attempt to prepare myself, nerves send signals to my brain giving me the euphoria that there is still something missing. Something I won't remember until my feet have left U.S. soil. Part of the fun will be discovering what it is and what moment in time realization will hit me.

The most ironic part is that I have faced this fear countlessly leading up to my many travels to different continents. I've experienced the endorphins release when realizing that not knowing what to expect meant setting yourself up for surprise and wonder. Questions of whether I'm ready or made the right move after college, keep running through my mind. My fear has lost touch with the mentality that brought me to make this decision. The drive that will bring me to Colombia is very much uneven but worth the distance.

On top of my own questions I am filled with the fears of my friends and family who have voiced concern over my safety. Out of respect I have considered everything that has been said to me, refusing to force ignorance on myself out of confidence that I will return safe. But I also cannot forget the many good things I will encounter that will outweigh the bad. Beyond my overall goal of mastering the Spanish dialect, the enhancement of other skills will not go unnoticed.

My rutina diaria awaits me in Barranquilla. The eagerness to be a part of a different culture and give myself a sense of purpose again has become unseeingly noticeable. Days drag without the motive of having something to do in the morning or rather for the entire week. As much as I have appreciated having time off after four years of overachieving, I've noticed that I am clearly the kind of person that constantly needs to be busy. The lazy lifestyle is not a path meant for me to follow, but a rest stop along the journey from which I'll embark.

10 days of rest to spare until the trek starts up again.