I Used to Live in Colombia

I have officially adjusted my vocabulary to the past tense. Living abroad is different from backpacking, in that you give yourself time to settle somewhere. My status quickly shifted from teaching fellow to nomad. Now I sit in a hostel in Bogotá on my last full day in Colombia. Time has gone by so fast that I barely noticed the changes in me. Physically looking in the mirror, I can see the metamorphosis Colombia has made over the past four months. My skin's a little darker, hair a little lighter, and body a little thicker.

In Barranquilla, my identity of "home" was temporarily identified with a mother, an aunt, and a traditional older brother in the north end of the city. In just less than 24 hours, that will adjust again, and it won't be the final time this week. I have grown to appreciate small talk in the kitchen, and showing my host family photos from my travels and previous life I originally left behind in the States. But old will become new again, and new will become old.

On my last day, I ponder how my life is about to make a drastic transition all over again. But this time I don't have any doubts. When reflecting on my mentality, I've discovered that my mind has opened more to the world than in previous travels. I feel stronger, wiser, and more appreciative of the opportunities I've been given. Last year, I faced a blur of confusion and uncertainty for my future. My confidence in life choices was hindered, and I surely didn’t believe I would gain it back in such a short amount of time. My vision went from thinking 5 years down the road, to thinking about what I was going to do with myself now. Altering my focal point helped me see the things that would have surpassed me and my future.

It's so ironic to me how much I've actually changed. Happiness, carelessness, and freedom feel so new yet natural at the same time. In adjusting to life in Colombia, I noticed how easy it was to give up old habits and things I've grown so comfortable having around me. There was never a point in questioning decisions or concerns, especially those of other people. All that matters is that I was able to turn all negative situations into positives ones through choice in perspective.

These changes in me didn't begin abroad, I only carried and strengthened them here. The seeds of these values were planted by the love and support of an amazing family and true friends who refused to let me dwindle. Their strength is what encouraged me to regain mine back, in order to become the woman I am today. I utilized this confidence to take my self exploration abroad. My inner goals were to discover what type of person I want to be, and if I could handle it. Now that I know my answer, I am ready to embody that woman.

Every memory I've made has tattooed itself to my brain, allowing me to make wiser decisions with each future step. I am a globetrotter. Someone who takes into consideration all the things I've been exposed to abroad and even in my home country. Tomorrow my adventure continues back in the USA. But who knows where I will really end up. Keeping my curiosity alive is part of the thrill. As Robert Frost reflected, no one knows what’s down the path not taken until someone breaks the norm.

Finca

If there is any natural thing that I am addicted to, it would be the rainforest. My history of travel reflects that it is truthfully my absolute favorite place in the world. I have  been in all kinds of environments, from the mountains and the city, to the desert and the countryside. But no place on this earth has given me a natural high like being in a prehistoric forest. The life I’ve come across here, is so exotic and beautifully mind-blowing it almost always bring me to tears.

This past weekend I heard there was a cacao finca located in the center of the Sierra Nevada. As I was already halfway there, I decided there was no choice but to journey through my favorite biosphere to find a place where chocolate is born. The rainforest was especially majestic this time around thanks to hurricane Matthew. My guilty pleasure of the rainforest is obviously, when it's actually raining.

As I walked by trees with leaves as big as me, I made sure to take in every moment. The plants cupping as much water as they could grasp to last them through the dry season. The birds singing tunes to each other in the canopies. The wild animals scrambling in the bushes due to the unfamiliar sound of a human presence. Extraordinary trees cleansing the air, serving as pulmonary arteries for the forest. This feeling is like vibrant fractals of color centering themselves within a shaded green. None of it seems real, even though it's a touch and a feel away. The euphoria I usually get when in such a place reminds me of a world before human life.

I knew I was close to the cacao when I could smell the bitter scent of fresh chocolate in the air. Along the path, plants with young cacao fruit started to emerge. Standing in the doorway of a hut was a man who looked to be in his early thirties. I approached him completely drenched from the down pour I just endured. He smiled and welcomed me to his cacao farm with a piece of chocolate he had made just that morning.

After a moment of rest he led me to the back of his farm where the many ages of cacao trees radiated life. I listened to his knowledge from planting the trees, pollination process, harvest, and production. His whole life was devoted to cacao. He had lived on the land I discovered on my trek, for over 13 years. The forest gave him everything he needed, so there was really no point in him leaving other than to transport freshly made chocolate. Halfway through my visit he cut down a fresh cacao fruit and cracked it open with his machete. This exposed the most tasteful sweetness that has ever touched my tongue. Never did I think that a plant that produced chocolate, also produced something of an entirely different taste.

Seeing how much I enjoyed the fruit, he chose to cut another one from the tree and shared the indulgence of flavor with me. As we made it back to the hut, he showed me how to turn the dried seeds of the cacao fruit into a chocolate paste. As we peeled away the skin of the seeds, he told me of the many flavors different cacao seeds can produce. Once they were ready to be grinded into the paste, I got the chance to experience the sabor for myself.

The decision to venture through the tropical forest during a storm made me think of all the other times I've done this in Latin America. Every time I make the trek, I feel like a young child getting to know the world for the first time. The most untouched places of the earth provide the most natural treasures and medicines. Everyone in the world should experience this beauty at least one time in their life. I know that at some point in the future I will end up back here. Instead of feeling sad to depart, I find myself thinking, "until next time."

In the middle of it all

It's odd to know that I've been in this country for as long as I have. It feels as though I just arrived in Colombia a couple weeks ago. My subconscious keeps telling me that I still haven’t fully adjusted to my new life in Barranquilla. Maybe my constant traveling during free time has prevented me from being able to visualize a home here, but I cannot say I regret any of those decisions.

Each week flies by faster than the last, so much that I barely realized that I'm closer to home than to the date I arrived. Sometimes when I go home to relax after school, it feels as though time is dragging. It is the moments that lack activity and exploration, that make me question whether or not I enjoy this life. But once I leave the house and embark on a new and exciting adventure, I remember the reason I came to Colombia was to experience a life that was unfamiliar to me.

When reflecting on the challenges I've overcome abroad, I'm able to recognize how much I've adapted mentally and physically. There are major differences I've had to face such as adjusting to a year round average 94 degree Fahrenheit temperature. Back in July I had a horrible cough for an entire month and couldn’t leave the house without contemplating whether or not I would pass out from severe dehydration. Now the luxury of air conditioning doesn't even cross my mind anymore. But the most interesting adjustments to reflect on are the little things, like not being able to listen to music while walking down the street. This tiny change has taught me to pay more attention to my surroundings and take in the raw street vibe in full.

During my time here I have made new friends while not forgetting the old. The people who I've met here are kind, adventurous, and full of serenity and laughter. I would not choose to be in Barranquilla with any other group. Sometimes my mind lingers to those I've left behind. Social media is a gift that comes with many lasting consequences. My heart gets filled with joy to read about friends back home in their humble setting. But that joy always turns to longing to settle with them, and remain happy alongside the faces that have become so familiar to me over the years. Whenever this feeling engulfs me, I am reminded why I had to take this leap in the first place. I barely know who I've become after I lost myself in a small town trap for the past four years. Never wanting to leave, and never wanting to explore the side of me that craved adventure before college. The decision to depart this humble life was a terrifying one, but something that clearly had to be done to ease my curiosity.

I wanted to know what a typical day was for people from outside of the United States. I wanted to understand why my routine is so different from someone else's. How far does geographic location and history tie into modern day life? Many people have lost their sense to travel for these answers because of advancements in technology making it easy to ask the same thing online. But how accurate can an article reflecting someone else's opinion or understanding be? In a world of bias, anger, and judgement, no one can accurately interpret a culture or lifestyle without actually immersing themselves in it.

I've seen first-hand how much influence the media has over the entire world. This is not just from my experience in Colombia but also from my travels to around 20 different countries in the last four years. The argument that news outlets control our opinions is not as far fetched as what people think. I've seen the same news story get told in many different ways, based on the population of viewers. With advancements in technology growing rapidly, it's hard to believe that this issue could eventually subside. It's going to take people who have the will to question what they are told, but most importantly to value independence. The independence that motivates you to move outside of your comfort zone and interpret things for yourself. 

Today I am halfway home and have cracked more myths of the misconceptions I've heard about Colombia than I thought I could throughout the duration of my entire trip. Easy to say I've also encountered many judgements of Americans and our intentions as a population. Some of the things I've heard are so far out of reality I have to question the root of the theory. But the irony is that I've heard Americans say the same level of fallacies about Colombians. When both are at fault who is to blame?

My hopes for friends, family, and people I don't even know, is that one day they will take time to travel. Go somewhere unfamiliar, with different standards and expectations. Put yourselves out there to experience something new. Maybe when you return home you'll realize you absolutely hated it all. Even so, in your reflections you will grow to appreciate your home more than you ever did in the past. You will learn to never take for granted the things handed to you. In this life, no one chooses where they are born, or what country they are naturalized citizens of. Making the decision to explore a world outside of your own makes you a wild card. Once your wild card is played, all the negative judgements and influences are put in jeopardy, making you the bearer of reality.

A Colombian Birthday

It isn't until a special day comes along that you realize who really cares about you. I didn’t expect much to occur on my birthday this year considering how far I am from loved ones in the States. Two and a half months doesn't seem like a lot of time when thinking about building strong relationships. But I soon learned that this was a misconception I had drilled in my brain from the beginning.

I guess I never really stood back to take a look at the relationships I've established with my students and friends here in Colombia. The transition from shy to outgoing was so subtle I barely even noticed it. The first couple of weeks at school were intimidating. I mean, how could it not be when trying to fit in with six different classes of hormonal teenagers? The best thing I could do at the time was try to understand their perspective of my presence. One could only imagine the difficulty of accepting someone so close to their age as an influential figure in the classroom.

I remember trying hard to stoop to their level when teaching content and responding to questions. After all, I knew exactly how they felt with learning an unfamiliar language. It took me forever to finally be able to understand the rapidly speaking, slang-filled vocabulary of costeño Spanish. I guess I didn’t realize how much the students recognized my efforts to help them until my special day came along. From trying one method and if that wasn't working, attempting a different approach until I witnessed the flicker in their eyes that indicated they finally understood. I always refuse to show any frustration with my students because I know that would only hurt their self esteem and bring us back right to square one. The only difference would be that I would have also lost their trust as well.

This past Wednesday, I got a glimpse of how much my efforts have affected these students. I knew deep down how much I admired them but had no idea how they felt about me until that day. When I arrived at school I carried out my usual routine: say hello to the coordinator Angel, retrieve the classroom keys, unlock the door for the students and move the desks around. Only this time when I sat and waited for the students to arrive, the greeting I received was completely out of the ordinary.

Students came bombarding into the classroom screaming "HAPPPYYYY BIRTHDAYYYY BRIANNA!!!!" Engulfing me into embraces as each one toppled over the other to kiss my cheeks in celebration. As they scattered to the desks, they unzipped their backpacks to reveal all kinds of party supplies from snacks, balloons, to even a massive cake that was placed right in front of me. I was shocked to see that they actually seemed more excited about my birthday than I was. Maybe it was because they were looking to replace a regular class with a fiesta, but either way each one of them radiated pure happiness.

At first I thought it was my co-teacher Nayibe who had bought everything and the students just helped her carry the items to the classroom. After all, she and I have also grown especially close during that past two months. But when I went to thank her, she told me that it was not her who went through all this trouble, but the students. She explained that each of them had planned this event for weeks to come. Coordinating who would bring what, while successfully keeping me in the dark. I was astonished to learn that my passion for them was mutual in our relationship.

I couldn't stop repeating my thanks to them in both English and Spanish. They had succeeded in taking me by complete surprise. Easy to say this was by far the best birthday gift I received this year.

Desert Adventures

Many people fear being alone, and I myself have made this mistake before. It hasn't been until recently that I've allowed myself to discover the beauty of independent adaptation. In reality, I have always been a strong-minded person whose gone lengths to provide for myself. I never thought there would be a time in my life where I looked for the approval of others in order to make my own decisions. After a friend I confided many secrets in left this earth, my conscious found itself in quite the predicament when attempting to differentiate "right" and "wrong." I soon learned that life is about making decisions and hesitating is the worst thing one could do. 

I made a choice 2 weeks ago that reflects how far I've come since last year. What feels like little time has actually been quite a while. My goal before arriving in Colombia was to make an attempt to see as much of the country as possible before departing back to the homeland. Although my list of traveled cities was not looking too shabby, I decided I needed to make an even bolder move. I've spent the last 2 months moving from east to west, exploring la costa Atlántico. In order to respect the goals I originally created for myself, I had to take a greater leap.

Not even five days before the planned date, I discovered there was a group of travelers organizing to go to a desert in the far south of the country. Now I had no idea who these people were, but the moment I saw the departamento location I knew this was the leap I was striving for. Far away from the coast is where I needed to go, no matter how long the trek. Maybe its because I was born in the home of the brave, but I sensed deep in my gut that I needed to do something rash and spontaneous.

Boarding the bus in Bogotá-which took quite an effort to find since I had no idea who I was looking for-I already found myself making new friends. To be honest, it is quite difficult to not get along with fellow travelers because we all have a common fixation on experiencing new and exciting things. It wasn't long until I realized I was not the only one who jumped at the opportunity to be a +1 on this desert adventure.

When you're in such a majestic place, it's easy to acquaint intimate moments with each person. Smaller interactions with people remain just as profound in my memory as time spent during planned activities. Throughout these occurrences, I sparked a special young friendship with a French/Colombian girl who had taken the same leap as me on her own.

There is so much to rant on about my time in the Tatacoa. From watching the sunset disappear behind the mountains, to gazing up at the Milky Way in the night sky, every moment was spent with bliss. There was one experience that not only sheds light on the free spirited adventure, but reflects the feeling of adrenalin I've been striving for the entire time I've been in Colombia. This moment began with the last-minute decision to go galloping through the open land on horseback.

I've spent a good chunk of my life learning to ride both Western and English styles. Hell, bring me a horse free of man-made leather and I will be able to control it bareback style while using its mane as the reins. When my friends and I were offered to ride in the desert for 2 hours for only $30 mil pesos ($10 USD), we had no choice but to accept. It had been a few years since I found myself on the back of a horse, but the moment I mounted her everything I learned from the past came back to me.

The Tatacoa desert is the second largest arid zone in all of Colombia. Now that we had a better means of travel than our feet, we had no excuse but to explore as much as possible within the 2 hour time frame. Gianchacata was a rowdy horse, but for this I am glad. She always knew when the time was right to take off with a gallop. The ground may not have always been flat, but it was even more fun to test her agility when racing up and down the rigid hills of clay. The trotting would start up whenever another horse came into sight, or there was an indication that a scenic spot was approaching our path.

There was a moment when all of the horses in the group became in sync with each others' gallops, feeding into the adrenalin of the riders. The joyful screams of "YEEEEHHHAAAWWW!!!!" from my friends, triggered memories of my time spent in the southern USA. The familiar chants brought me home by filling the void of longingness for family and friends. I am thankful for Ginachacata because she provided so much more than a ride through the desert. Most of all, I am glad to have spent this moment with people I had grown comfortable with after such little time.

White noise engulfed the interior of the bus back to Bogotá as each exhausted traveler slept to regain the energy used on this magnificent journey. So far, this has been the best decision I've made during my travels in Colombia. I gained adventurous new friends over the course of a weekend, who I hope to keep close to my heart. Most importantly, I now have reassurance that making more bold decisions while I am here is the best thing I can do throughout the rest of my journey.

Unexpected Adoption Day

Anytime I feel like I am forming a routine here in Barranquilla something happens that completely disrupts the flow. Many years of traveling have taught me how to adapt to multiple scenarios that interfere with my path, but embracing Colombian culture is unlike anything I've encountered before. Residing in a country that's making progress toward overcoming social instability has shown me a thing or two about patience and embracing the little things in life. People carry a unique perspective of compassion that one would not expect. Easy to say this mentality has taken its toll on me over the past seven weeks, and I can only see its force grow stronger in my future.

Yesterday was especially enduring considering that it imprinted a mark that will remain for the rest of my stay in Barranquilla. I had just arrived home from teaching and was so hungry I barely noticed my host aunt Ruth leaning over the bushes outside my bedroom. It wasn't until I dropped off my books and nearly trucked it toward the kitchen, that I came to realize the odd layout before me. Curiosity always kills the cat, therefore one can imagine how my decision to snoop tattooed a one-way path on my current journey in Colombia.

"Ay dios mio," Ruth muttered as my eyes caught sight of the turtle devouring the leaves off her luscious plants. The image I just presented is identical to my perspective at that moment, assuming she was annoyed with the little morrocoya. Ruth caught me by surprise when she starting speaking of her concern for the poor animal who had found herself trapped. She went on to say that a turtle had not found a way into her yard in over eight years.

I personally did not see the problem at first. Like in the United States, my thought has always been that its best to set animals free and let them find their way naturally. I listened to how she defined her concerns of the reoccurring arroyos and reckless drivers who won't even bother to stop for a child crossing the street. Basically, the morrocaya is doomed to death if placed outside the perimeter of our property.

My host brother Anderson, told me that whenever turtles find their way onto someone's property they are usually always taken in with no questions asked. He continued to explain that since they are unaccounted for on the streets, a better way of life is offered in the safe perimeter of a home. That night, we spent a solid two hours checking every nook and corner of the yard to make sure Patricia had no way of unknowingly escaping to her death.

At first I thought Anderson was exaggerating when he told me that it was common for costeños to take in wild turtles. That changed during the second hour of classes today as I was speaking to one of the other English teachers while the students did their assignments. I showed her a picture of the morrocaya Patrícia, and told her how Anderson and I plan to take care of her. She laughed and reflected about how she rescued her own turtle that she had taken in over a year ago.

It seems that my feet have touched the sand of a new path here in Barranquilla. I can say I have ever owned a turtle in my life, let alone one that has found its way to me from the wild. Lucky for Patrícia and I, we are surrounded by people who have acquainted this before. It did not cross my mind that part of the cultural immersion process would include the adoption of a wild animal. But when you are living on the coast, you always accept what comes your way without question or concern.

The Mango Man

Most people associate cultural norms to an entire country, disregarding the fact that interior regions obtain different traditions relative to environment. Colombia is considered the second most biodiverse country in the world. Containing many different species of plants and animals, it is hard to imagine that people scattered across this wonderland, share the exact same practices. Everything from cultural traditions down to simple daily routines, are impacted by the immediate environment people are a part of.

Now I have only been in the country for six weeks, having explored three cities and after this weekend that number with change to four. But with what I have witnessed so far, I can make a reflection on the unique culture of the costeño in comparison to the interior regions of Colombia. There is no better way to picture this culture clash than to put oneself in the shoes of the "Mango Man."

He is very particular to the calles of Departamento Atlántico. Everyone knows who he is without needing to ask nor even consider his purpose on the street. One might think that I am leading up to state that mango man is meant to sell mangos, but that is not necessarily the case. He embodies the stereotype of the costeño by carrying a lifestyle of leisure and hard work at once. Each day is spent picking the fruit off of the many wild mango trees in Barranquilla, and sharing the goods with anyone willing to have a taste for around 1.500 pesos. Close to the early evening he will share in the indulgence himself because who cares, he is a costeño.

The mango man may be poor or even have a family of ten. But those questions are never asked because nosiness is not the way of the people from the coast (unless you are a foreigner of course). When it is really hot he will seek relaxation under the shade of a tree with a large canopy. Maybe he will sit there for a couple minutes or even stay for hours to sell mangos until the heat is driven out by the sunset. None of it is planned because there is no point when rain can start falling from the sky at any moment, engulfing the streets in deadly flash floods. The one thing that never changes is the mindset that all is alright and whatever happens just goes.

"Take it easy," the mango man will say. The environment on the coast is uncontrollable and especially unpredictable. Nothing can be done to alter things, so the best way to approach life here is to smile and accept whatever comes your way. If it's hot, find shade. If there are floods, find temporary refuge. The only thing one must never do, is carry any expectations of the weather. This is the mentality of the costeño.

Other departments in Colombia may argue that the costeño is the laziest person in the country who spends six hours a day indoors to avoid the hot sun. But if you were from Bogotá with year round 60 degree Fahrenheit weather, of course your perception of environment would be quite different. The mango man lives a simple life, and he probably did not choose it for himself. But what makes his costeño culture so unique is his ability to accept what life gave him.